FJORD: Saloon doors see-saw like Thaumaturgy
Lawful Good has Bad blood with Chaotic Ugly
I’m the mighty fine Mighty Nein mouthpiece
Pannin’ bars of gold I speak to keep the peace
Got a Goblin bounty I’ll clean up purty
Can’t Control Water Closet, caught her ridin’ dirty
Talkin’ shit with your dump stat? Now I’m Nott hatin’
What’s lower? Your Charisma or your Challenge Ratin’?

So DANCE like Otto, better shindig fast
DRAW my Hex-Shooter have an Eldritch Blast
Threads from Agathys too cool to diss
MC Hammered ain’t worthy, can’t touch this
You drink and Dungeon Dive, green’s yellow as hell
No XP if you hide so you kill brain cells
Spin your chamber and we’ll go full throttle
But y’all play alone when you spin that bottle

NOTT: Hey ‘Gentleman', ladies go before
Are moist men with no morals too weak to hold a door?
BALL-EATER ON THE BROADSIDE! Light the fuse
Can’t be friendly fire, I don’t like you
You Insufferable Vagrant, I doll up to live
You’ve got more faces than Pumat, that’s what you’re going with?
Powder monkey’s packing overload this Glass Cannon
He’ll Blink out of existence like with Jester and the Dragon

Mooning while I water-walk, Release my Crack-en
A strike from the rear? That’s Sneak Attacking
Your raps are Spectres, dead on creation
I’m stealing this show and your recommendation
Your Sword can’t Fathom why you’re so brain dead
Roleplaying what it’s like to have a voice in your head
Stand up! Stampede! Cowboy’s lost the lead
Just took you for a ride like a Summoned Steed

FJORD: This Ancients Mariner flows oceans
With the rhymes that he weaves
We both drowned, you learned to fear
But I learned how to breathe

NOTT: There’s one thing about this power Fjord
That you don’t understand
Here’s a DC you can’t save:
NO ONE LIKES FUCKING AQUAMAN

NOTT: Voice changed? Wet dreams? Fjord, humour me
You’re not special, that’s puberty
FJORD: Quit yer caterwaulin’, you cat-eating Catoblepas
You cry yourself to sleep are you wet dream jealous?
NOTT: Bite me, Tusk Love! Your Bladegarden has flowered
Is Allura home in that Ivory Tower?
FJORD: You dual-wield mouths quite the Fighting Style
It’s like you deepthroated the Wand of Smiles

FJORD: Nott the best detective
You are the biggest dick
NOTT: You’re so unstable you make me seasick
FJORD: Was lyin’ to your kid worth bein’ forgot?
NOTT: Was your soul only worth two spell slots?

FJORD: You’re an Alchemist cookin’ up a brawl
Goblin Ramsey with Fury of the Small
Vorelocks eat for two you won’t suffice
You brew trouble do you even Spice?

NOTT: Your mama went Rogue? What are the odds
Dropped her Fjord Focus took an Uncanny Dodge
Now you’ve got your own ship! I guess it must be fate
It takes an orphan to Captain the Mistake

FJORD: Hypocritical Hit! You’re doin’ Luc dirty
Your boy got replaced by a German in his thirties (CALEB: Guten tag)
You’re a Hex on the Strength of your marriage
Their Carry Capacity can’t handle your baggage

NOTT: Heave Ho! Avantika left you a wreck
Did she Finger of Death your poop deck?
Fjorgot Relentless Endurance, we salute wistfully
The shortest-lived Spurt in campaign history!

FJORD: Hey Veth’s inner Demon, let’s make a pact
Grant me powers of Booze-Breathin’ and losing at raps
No Reintarnation! Soul of Holding is sin-full
Led such a bad life, have to come back as Sprinkle
(LEARN) Your reflection’s your Favoured Enemy
(GROW) More disturbin’ than my deep-sea entity
(PROVOKE) To meet your eye, I’ll numb my Fear
(CONSUME) an Endless Flask of your tears

NOTT: You’re useless, Fjord you can’t raise Hell
Gotta Buff your buffness just to hold this ‘L’
Addict’s overboard drunk on power he stole
Warlocks see Divine Gate make a gloryhole
You Haste the end-times not for evil or plunder
‘Coz without them you’re as boring as a sea cucumber
From urchin to urchin your bottom-feeding’s over
This Wildmother just spanked Uk'otoa

UK’OTOA! Uk’otoa! Uk’otoa. Uk’otoa … Uuuk’otoaaaa…